To the boy who loved me;
I love you no matter what as cheesy as that sounds.
And now I know you love me too.
But in your words, not in the way I want.
Only few a days ago you received confirmation of how I felt about you. I swore you'd never see it, my post of undying love for you on the app you promised you deleted. Long story short, our imaginary forced love story is over.
But now we know we love each other. You told me at least 6 times that you loved me and I had never heard the phrase 'I love you' come from your lips before but here it came out like a stream. "I love you, I love you, I don't want to ever lose you, I will never give up on you, I care about you, and I appreciate you. I notice everything you do for me."
You are the sweetest man I have ever met.
And I'm not hurt.
You'd think I would be, being friendzoned and what not, but I'm not. I knew all along your feelings for me. I knew all along you didn't like me. I was right this whole time, but I just didn't believe myself. I think because I knew, it didn't come as a shock to me. My heart isn't tearing in pieces like it has with previous guys. I don't have that piercing pain that always haunts me after something like this. I want you to know I'm okay.
You'll never read this, of this I am sure. (mostly because no one reads this blog lol.)
If I seem hurt, I'm not. I'm bruised. You told me you talked to me about your feelings because everyone was making fun of me and you couldn't stand it. This person who you cared about was being publicly ridiculed and there was nothing you could do about it besides confront me. I admire you. You love me. Not in the way I imagined, but now I know I'll never be alone.
I want to apologize too for any embarrassment or ridicule you received because of me. I'm sorry I caused that to you.
I want you to know, I appreciate you. Thank you for not breaking my heart. And thank you for loving me in such a way I can't even comprehend it. I can't wrap my mind around this fact that you love me. Like I see no reason for it and I will never understand. I think you love me like Christ does. I understand God's unfailing, unconditional love because that's just how it is. But how could you love me like that? How could you have the same type of love.
So thank you for everything. I could write a book about everything you've ever done for me, but I know you hate that.
So in short, thank you for being you.
